When beloved Strictly Come Dancing hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman recently announced their departure after over a decade presenting together, stating “now feels like the right time,” they demonstrated something many women struggle with: the art of the positive exit. Career and confidence coach Dr Claire Kaye, an award-winning GP, believes that knowing how and when to leave is one of the most undervalued skills in professional life. And one that too many women never master.
“Many women find it incredibly challenging to leave, whether it’s a job, a role, a project, or even an identity,” explains Claire. “It’s one of the biggest reasons women stay stuck, often out of loyalty, guilt, or a belief that they need permission to go. Once you learn how to positively exit, it changes everything. You reclaim energy, confidence, and control.”
The Bell Shaped Curve of Opportunity
Claire uses a bell shaped curve to explain how opportunities evolve over time – a framework that perfectly captures what Tess and Claudia appear to have recognised about their Strictly journey.
“At the beginning, things feel exciting, stretching, and sometimes uncomfortable,” says Claire. “Then you reach the sweet spot where you know what you’re doing, you’re confident, knowledgeable and you’re thriving. Then you enter the right hand side of the curve where your energy starts to dip and what once gave you joy begins to drain you.”
Not every point on the right hand side of the curve means it’s time to leave. If you’re near the top, there may still be something valuable to experience, something to finish or learn. But when you’re further down, when motivation fades and it’s taking more from you than it gives, that’s often a clear sign it’s time to move on.
“To the outside world it might look like everything is going brilliantly, but when you know you’re ready, that’s what matters,” notes Claire. “Tess and Claudia have shown exactly this kind of self-awareness, leaving at the top of their game rather than waiting until they’ve slid too far down that curve.”
Why Women Struggle to Leave
Claire regularly asks her clients to draw a bell shaped curve and plot each of their roles on it. The exercise is incredibly impactful, often revealing that women are clinging to positions or identities long past the point where they’re flourishing.
The reasons are complex: loyalty to teams who depend on them, guilt about abandoning projects or people, fear of disappointing others, or simply not believing they’re allowed to choose themselves. Many women wait for external permission or validation before making a move, but that permission that may never come.
“Leaving well isn’t failure, it’s progress,” emphasises Claire. “When you positively exit, you create space for new opportunities and possibilities to appear. Without leaving, it’s hard to move forward because you’re still tied to something that no longer serves you.”
Learning from Past Exits
Claire encourages women to reflect on times they’ve successfully exited before. What helped you do it? Did you seek support? Talk to someone you trusted? Realise that the role or situation was no longer adding value?
Understanding what enabled you to leave well in the past helps you build the confidence to do it again. It also reveals your personal pattern for recognising when it’s time to go.
The Hidden Cost of Staying
Perhaps most critically, Claire highlights what happens when women don’t learn this skill. Staying in something long after it’s stopped serving you keeps you stuck. It can drain your energy, limit your potential, and stop you stepping into what’s next.
“Learning how to positively exit is one of the most powerful ways to get unstuck and to move forward with clarity and confidence,” concludes Claire. “It’s not about being disloyal or letting people down. It’s about recognising where you are on your own bell curve and having the courage to act on that awareness.”
As Tess and Claudia prepare to take their final bow on Strictly’s Christmas special, they’re modelling something invaluable: that leaving with intention and perfect timing is an art form, and one that every woman deserves to master.
Claire’s RISE®️ Approach course specifically addresses knowing when and how to positively exit roles, providing practical frameworks for women ready to move forward with confidence and clarity.
Feature image Credit KL Photography
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